Material Things Don't Define You!

I ran into an old friend from High School. Every chance he got he reminded me of where I grew up. I spoke and dressed different. Being a social butterfly for the past 7 years allows me to attend some pretty amazing events some with New York City Elite. I visit the Mayor's office every year for their Puerto Rican Heritage kickoff. I attend several trade shows and conferences often free because of the lists I am on. Yet, I never forget my humble beginnings. Nor do I deny them. I say Yonkers people assume I grew up on the North Side. I had to unfriend that person because they wanted to keep me down and I left Yonkers so I could rise up. 

Yes it's Westchster but I am no way rich nor did I grow up with money. Nope I grew up working class with both my parents working by the time I was in middle school. They both cleaned for a living. I grew up in Southwest Yonkers near Downtown. A place now is unrecognizable to me. They now call it SoYo, they closed off the waterfront access to the public and built high rises. I am visiting Monday let's see what they did to it. 

My parents were on the verge of  separating. My dad was horrible with money. One time he felt I was not quiet enough and he whipped me with a belt. Imagine that! A 26 year old being whipped with a belt? The worst part was before that my father had never raised his hand to me unless I was really bad. I look back and despite that being physically abusive during my childhood. He was very emotionally abusive. I promised myself to never do that to my children. 

I was attending graduate school and he wanted to claim me on his taxes. I said no and he decided that he punch me in the face. I cried to my mom and she found me a room with her friend. However, I was depressed I didn't want to work and failed to pull my weight. She wrote me a note asking me to leave.  I had to find a new place to live. I since apologized to her and promised I would send her something for her troubles. 

I moved in with a rave acquaintance I barely knew. As I was forced to leave a few months after for reasons I prefer not to disclose. I arrived a few days later, after leaving to my stuff being completed destroyed. It was the day before my birthday. I had amassed an amazing designer collection of dresses, accessories and shoes. I had a purse that matched every outfit I owned. She assumed my parents bought me these things. Little did she know I had worked since I was 19 to buy all these things. 

Of all the things she stole from me. The one that hurt the most are was a jewelry box and a leather skirt my mom had given me. My velvet theory jacket destroyed beyond repair. My prom dress ripped to shreds. She with another room mate destroyed priceless photos of my grandfather and I. A leather jacket my mom had given me to complete my college punk look. When I lost all these things. I was devastated. She even decided to steal my Ralph Lauren sheets! Like come on how ratchet could someone be? 

I look at her stealing my things as an act of charity. As broke minded people are inherently shady. They will steal, ruin people's things and lie about it to your face. Did I mention she even held a sale for nursing school with my things? Imagine that? I funded her schooling. I should have received a cut of her pay. Two years later, she reached out to me via Instagram. I accepted her apology but decided I didn't need her in my life. I can forgive but rather not be her friend. I cannot forget what she put me through!

Years later, I realize she did me a favor by showing me material things can be lost. But there's nothing worst than losing yourself! I am slowing learning to forgive and forget those who hurt me. I am living sober and striving to change myself. I look back at losing all those things. I  realize if I could overcome that than everything else is easy. I also learned that material things can be stolen but no one can steal your dignity unless you let them. 



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