Advice I would give to my Younger Self
For the past two years I grew up overnight. I met my now husband, got pregnant and married. I look back at my twenties and wish I did some things different. I read this interesting article by Levo League which brings me to this special blog posting. They interviewed Betheny Frankel who was asked what you tell your twenty year old self. I loved her response and it led me to think would I tell my younger self if I had the chance. My teenage years were cut short because of my responsibilities that were imposed upon me early on. So when I turned 22 and found myself single I went crazy!
On top of my list would be whatever you do always follow up business leads! There are a few clients that I see what they are doing now and I kick myself because I would have been right there with them. During the beginning of building my start up PR business I would attend lots of events and collect cards but never email anyone. It was a colossal waste of time and energy.
The second piece of advice I would give my younger take that job with Harve Pierre. I was dating this guy who made me wait an hour for him. While I was waiting I meet Harve Pierre of Bad Boy Records and had no clue who he was. He offered me a job and I said no thank you I hate hip hop. I should have said yes and bared the crappy music. He told me that a woman like me should never wait for more than 15 minutes for anyone. I should have listened because that date ended with me telling the guy maybe you should take it easy and please don’t call me again! And third don't ever be a no call-no show. The last I feel like I messed up so bad with so many promotional companies who I never got work with again.
I dated a guy for almost five years. The first two years were amazing. By the third his family made my life a living hell. His mother hated my guts. I thought with time they would accept me. However, when they took him a cruise without me I realized that I would never ever be part of the family. I didn’t stand up to his mother and let her disrespect me. I wish I would have respectfully told her mind your business. We moved in together. I would tell myself get a job and your own before you move out. I would say grow up a little before making that move I was a little immature girl who was jealous. I would tell that girl listen cut it out. I would tell myself leave if you don't feel he doesn't appreciate your cooking and cleaning. But do not cheat!
I thought he was the one and was devastated when he dumped me. When he broke up with me I continued in his life. I let him treat me however he wanted. He would invite me over late at night and kick me out first thing in the morning. The worst part I felt alone dirty and abused. I should have let it go from the beginning and understood that once it’s over it’s over for good. Ladies, hold on to your dignity and do not allow a man treat you like second best. I would tell my twenty one year old self don't move in with him unless you're sure you're getting married. And most importantly stand up for yourself even if it’s against his family especially his mother.
I often times threw money away. I figured I will make more in two weeks who cares? I would ask myself do you really need to take that 50 dollar cab from the city to Yonkers? I would tell my younger self save your money, babies are expensive! Now that I am a mom I realize how important it is to save as much money as you can. I try to cook instead of eating out all the time. I try my best to buy the cheaper brand because after all you’re paying for their marketing and cute packaging. I would tell myself do you really need to spend $40.00 plus to go out and have drinks and food alone? I would say girl put that money back into your savings.
My conclusion is that my twenties were fun but today as a responsible career woman. I wouldn’t change anything. I am currently working towards getting a higher paying job in the next year or two. I may not be rich but I have a baby, a husband that loves me, food in the refrigerator and a nice apartment.